A handshake is worthy, it’s all that you got.

R.E.M.’s Reckoning.

I’ve been trying. I really have. But there is no fathomable way I can review this album objectively. I say before God and the blogosphere - though I don’t particularly believe in either - that this is my favorite album of all time.

From the opening guitar riff of ‘Harborcoat’ to the closing, ‘Jefferson, I think we’re lost’, of Little America, this is a note for note perfect record. I’ve loved this album since I discovered it as the flip side to the ‘Cream - Disraeli Gears’ tape my brother left for me.

Starting with Haarborcoat, a song ostensibly about the holocaust (R-E-A-C-T), going perfectly into 7 Chinese Brothers, a song where every instrument is in exactly the right place at the right time. Peter Buck hits every note the way it’s meant to be. Stipe’s voice is smooth and seductive, and you want to hug him. Mills drives along with simple melodic bass lines, and keeping it all together is Bill Berry, who has learned to drum within his abilities, and masters it.

Since I can’t give an honest assessment of the album, I’ll describe what each song means to me.

Harborcoat - My favorite song. Not just by REM, but ever. When my mom told me my parents were getting divorced, I put this song on. When my brothers went to war, I put this song on. As Stipe would later say, ‘A must.’

7 Chinese Brothers - This song is all Adam Kuklinski. That fucked up almost saint of my late childhood and early adulthood. Sitting in my house pouring over the Howard Finster cover, trying to decipher its meanings, and failing.

So. Central Rain (I’m Sorry) - This is riding the bus to school everyday, and thinking of my girlfriend Julie. Rivers of suggestion. There’s a girl without a dream. I’m not sure what I was sorry for, but I sang along anyway.

Pretty Persuasion - This is another Adam song. He liked it, I didn’t, but because of him it grew on me. Also, Stipe says ‘god damn your confusion’. True true.

Time After Time (Annelise) - This is a song where I got to be sad about things, and not certain why. Now I know why, and I was right back then. Still a beautiful song.

Second Guessing - Some joy after all the deep shit. Just a good rocking song where everything works, and fits right.

Letter Never Sent - Another Julie song. I wrote dozens of letters I never sent. I once feel by her bedside and didn’t know how to tell her.

Camera - When I listened to this tape the first time, over and over again, I was reading ‘Replay’ by Ken Grimwood. He went to Bard College, where I later went. He died from AIDS, which I do not have. But this song always makes me think of him. Alone in a crowd.

(Don’t Go Back To)Rockville - Sung by Adam, Julie, and I as Don’t Go Back to Earlville for obvious reasons. Later, the three of us would crash Adam’s dad car while this song was playing loud on the tape deck. Our biology teacher showed up at the accident, and none of us knew what to say. At night I drink myself to sleep and pretend I don’t care that you’re not hear with me.

Little America - Probably the greatest ‘throwaway’ song of all time.

Nostalgia aside, everything in this albums fits. The melodies are right, the lyrics, what you can decipher of them, are perfect. Every song is in exactly the right place on the album. The artwork is brilliant, the linear notes suburb, and the film ‘Left of Rockville’ (the album sides are ‘right’ and ‘left’) is a wonderful experience watching four young men playing in Rev. Finster’s yard.

If you don’t have this album, fucking get it. If you have it and love it like I do, put it on, and have a cocktail. Listen to it start to finish. When you’re done, get another cocktail. Repeat.